Dragon Nation
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Dragon Nation

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 - Memories -

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Registratiedatum : 16-03-14

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BerichtOnderwerp: - Memories -   - Memories - Icon_minitimedi mei 19, 2015 12:44 am

How can you let go of memories,
when they have become a part of you?
What does letting go mean,
if you have to leave a part of yourself behind?

As I roamed the empty hallways, I often wondered about those things. The past may be the past, but could you really forget it? Could you really let go? Every time I looked upon the portraits on the walls, I began more and more to understand that there was no letting go without pain, without regret. Without leaving a part of yourself behind. Even if I left this place, a part of me always would want to come back and gaze upon the glory and things that had once been.

The pictures on the wall reminded me time and again of old friends, long gone, but far from forgotten. The stories of how we laughed and cried, fought and made up, playing back in my head, over and over again, until I not only knew them by heart, but also every single word.

It’s at times like these, that I cannot help but wonder where it went wrong. What mistakes could have been avoided, things done different, words said or better stayed unspoken. As I know stand in the doorway, looking back into the old place, I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if things had gone differently. The light behind me plays in the dust that flies around and somehow it brings a sad smile to my face. It’s like the magic had not fully left the place and tries to pull me back by turning the dust to small dancing fairies that lay a spell on you if you watch them for too long.

For a moment, I looked over my shoulder to the driveway. The sun is rising over the village and the day looks to be a promising one. Yet, I cannot let go of the place completely, still drawn to its portraits and dust fairies. There is still a piece of me missing and the letting go of it hurts more than I dare to admit. Thinking, remembering, I sit down on the doorstep, waiting perhaps? Or hoping for a sign that there is still magic, or that those days are gone for good.
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Aantal berichten : 486
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BerichtOnderwerp: Re: - Memories -   - Memories - Icon_minitimewo mei 20, 2015 7:43 pm

There was no fear in him, when I put the gun to his head. He knew I was there, he knew what was coming, yet he seemed to greet it like an old friend. Me gaze was fixed upon him as he put away his groceries like this was happening every day. It was almost as if he was oblivious to my presence.
“Do it, if you must.” His voice was soft, not much more than a whisper, yet it made my skin crawl in a way I could hardly describe as unpleasant. My finger tensed around the trigger, but I could not pull it as I looked into a pair of bright blue eyes, that could easily rival my own. He watched me, silently, for a couple of moments, before pulling a beer out of the fridge and walking towards the living room. My hand, still holding the gun, fell beside me once more, as my eyes followed his steps.
I felt betrayed. I could not make the kill I had to make and yet, there was nobody who had betrayed me, safe myself. For I moment I looked into the other room, before disappearing through the back door, into the night.

The following days, I kept a close eye on the house, tracking his moves after sunset, to be gone before the first rays of light started to illuminate the landscape once more. Every time, I said to myself that I had to kill him that night and every time, I saw those bright blue eyes again. Unafraid, even if he knew why I was there.
Days passed into weeks and slowly the full moon was drawing closer. I had promised myself it would be over before that day came, but I felt my resolve slipping away once more, when I returned the night before the full moon.
“Have you come back at last? Or are you tired of stalking around the house?” The voice came from the living room and I noticed a faint smell of beer as I walked in. He had been drinking and I could hardly blame him. I knew what the moon did to his kind and no doubt he had filled her pull strengthen the last couple of days.
“So keen to die?” My voice was no louder than his had been, that first night.
“Not really, but how much longer were you planning on waiting to do it?” I heard him rise and automatically, my hand went towards the weapon I carried around my tight.
The moment, I pushed away the safety, he stood before me. His hair was a delicious black mess and his blue eyes pierced into mine, unwavering, even if I put the gun to his chest.
“Shoot.” It was a single word, said without any doubt, yet I could still not pull the trigger. Something was holding me back, but I could not say what. It was like I had fallen under some kind of spell, unable to escape.
Holding on to my hesitation, he slowly pushed me against the wall. I may be older than he was, by several centuries in fact, but I let him do it, without struggle, like I was the small girl and he the centuries-old killer.
“You can’t kill me, can you?” His hand cupped my chin, forcing me to look up into those deep pools. “Else you would have done it already.” It wasn’t really a question, but rather a statement that he made and I knew every word of it was true.
“You are fooling yourself if you think you can get away from this, alive.” The words were hard, but they didn’t hold any meaning. We both knew I couldn’t pull that trigger and the smirk on his face only confirmed it.
“If so, I would already been dead….” His words were whispered ever so softly in my ear and I could feel his hot breath on my skin. Before I had recovered from the feeling, I felt his lips on mine, demanding and hungry, forcing me to let go and give in to his kiss. His warmth seemed to overwhelm my own cold bones when he insisted upon it, wordless, yet ever so clear.

The full moon came and went and he still lived. I never told my kinsman a word of what had happened that night or in the following ones. I returned to his house at night to stay with him. Loosing myself in his warmth, even staying during the daylight, lost in his arms or the thick black fur he wore when he showed his true form. Normally I had no love for the smell of his kind, but those thick hairs smelled like a long lost home to me. A place in the ancient woods that had once been my home, when I was still a human. It felt comfortable and safe. He didn’t minded my coldness one bit, as I warmed myself against him.
What we had was forbidden, on all accounts. It was not natural or right. Neither of our races would have approved if they knew, but still we continued. There were even nights when we left for the woods. Two shadows, one human and one very big wolf, running beneath the trees. Hearing him howl towards the moon and feeling the sound in my chest as I stood beside him.

Weeks turned into months and before we knew, half a year was gone. I still hadn’t killed him, but his time was running out. My kinsman had started to suspect something and I could no longer hide my own little secret. A week after the full moon had passed, I found myself returning to his house. The backdoor was unlocked, as usual and from the inside, I could smell something cooking on the fire. He was preparing dinner for himself as I entered.
“Back again?” Smiling he looked at me over his shoulder and I smiled back. But it didn’t reach my eyes and he saw it immediately. “Something wrong?” Frowning, he walked towards me, tossing aside the towel he was holding.
“Yes.” I nodded softly. “I fear or time is up.” He didn’t say a word, but only gave a soft nod. Somehow, we both had known it would one day come to this. We stood there, silent, for what seemed like ages, but was no more than a few minutes. Without letting go of his gaze, I took his hand and placed it onto my belly, in a silent gesture that said so much more than words ever could. I knew I broke his heart by doing this and I could see so in his eyes.
One last times, I felt our lips melt together. The kiss held all our pain and all the love for one another. This was goodbye and we both knew it. Without letting him go, I softly pulled a small knife from my belt.
“I’m so sorry, my sweet wolf. Please forgive me for this.” Whispering the words, I pulled him close to me, before pressing the metal between his ribs, straight to his heart. For a moment, I heard his gasp for air.
“Take care of our son.” His voice was soft, but not yet broken. “Then, I will forgive you.” I had been blessed, or cursed, with a child of our own. Only possible because we were the rules of our races.
“I will.” I nodded softly, before pressing a small button, releasing the deadly toxic of silver nitrate into his bloodstream. It would almost instantly kill him, delivered so close to the heart. “I love you, and I always will.”
“I love you too….” His voice was filled with pain as the metal burned through his body. “Never forget me. I’ll be waiting for you.” He looked at me, painfully but somehow, I could see a happy spark in his eyes. The last remnants of his life and his love for me. “Never forget…” A sad smile formed around his lips before the last light in his eyes faded into nothing and the bright blue pool that had put me under their spell lost their lost their magic.
“I’ll never forget.” With a soft sob, I lowered him to the floor. This was goodbye, for a very long time. Because I would go on to wander the nights until the end of time, never aging and unchanging. My heart would always linger beneath the trees where we had run even if our son came into this world. It would only be at the very end, when all else would be gone, that I would see him again and feel his warm touch on my skin once more. For now, he was free. And until I joined him, every year, a grave would be marked with a single red rose to remember and never forget. As a sign that even the greatest of differences could be overcome by love.
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